Ghost Rider omfg so fucking bad

I’m glad Nick Cage is a comic geek, I really am. Hollywood stars that reveal themselves to be comic geeks give the medium mainstream credibility, and takes it from the hands of pimply fanboys. I’m glad Nick Cage got to do a comic book movie, because he’s desperately wanted to do one. And I’m glad he did Ghost Rider, because there would have been riots in the streets if he’d done Superman.

Cage is horrible in this movie, absolutely horrible. It may have been the direction, or it may have been the writing, but once Cage turns into ghost rider everything goes downhill. I didn’t walk into this movie expecting to see an Oscar worthy flick, just a cool action movie with cool special effects. I didn’t care that the plot barely made any sense, or that Nick Cage does this incredibly awkward and stupid “pointing” pose everytime he wants to look menacing. I just wanted the action to be good.

But it wasn’t, and it just compounded the lameness of this movie. None of Ghost Rider’s enemies felt like they were threatening at any point, and for a hero, he certainly does a lot of collateral damage just riding around on his bike. Collateral damage bothers me a lot, I don’t know why. I mean, sure I’d expect it if there was a huge fight going on and buildings were being destroyed in the process, but when your superhero destroys stuff just by riding around on his bike…I dunno, I’d be pissed if I lived in that city you know?

Oh, and the one time, the one time that things looked like they’d get exciting, the movie just drops the ball completely. Spoiler Alert! So Cowboy ghost rider and Nick Cage have both turned into their flaming incarnations, one on a horse and one on a bike. They ride off together in what is meant to be the final conforontation, and we have a long scene of them riding into the desert. Finally, I think, here’s the good part. Then they get to the edge of a deserted town and cowboy ghost rider “flames off”, gives his shotgun to Nick Cage, and tells him to “stick to the shadows”.

WTF?!??!?

I wanted to see both ghost riders kick the crap out of the bad guys!!!!! What is wrong the writers of this movie? That was perfect popcorn action flick material. But nooooooo, Cowboy ghost rider had to run out of juice and go home. Here’s my gun, I just rode with you so the movie could have a cool special effects extravaganza, I have to go now because I was too stupid to conserve my ghost rider energy to help you with the fight. *sigh*

The only thing worth the price of admission, if you’re a guy or a lesbian, is the close ups of Eva Mendes’ bursting, barely buttoned cleavage. I swear to god they did that on purpose, with a matching flesh colored bra. Otherwise, the movie’s total crap.

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2 Comments to “Ghost Rider omfg so fucking bad”

  1. Plus Ghost Rider, in flaming skull form, whistles to summon his motorcycle as if he were the Lone Ranger calling Silver.

  2. Yeah, Cage is a lame pussy. Real Ghost Rider lives in Sweden and he’s a fuckin pro!

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