If phones were women…

Been checking out lots of cellphones recently, and I thought it would be fun to categorize them as how they’d be like if they were women, cause I’m geeky like that.

Sony ericsson K800

Let’s begin with the K800. The K800 is stylish, no doubt. She’s also pretty smart, and she’s got an artsy side (she’s a really great photographer). She’s a little chunky though, but I’d be willing to overlook that if it weren’t that ugly hump on her back. I mean seriously, what a turn off right?

Samsung P300

The P300, like I said before, is retro cool. She doesn’t like dressing up like the other girls, and she knows how to flaunt what she’s got. While she’s not as curvy as he other girls, she uses her slim, boxy shape to stand out from the rest of the crown. The leather case she puts on sometimes marks her as an intelligent, classy gal as well. The downside? She’s a little deaf, and she speaks softly, so talking or listening to her can be a chore, especially for my mp3player ravaged ears.

Samsung D900

The D900 and the P300 are related, in that they’re both attractive and intelligent, but they’re attractive in different ways. The D900 is like an ugly ramp model: She’s slightly anorexic and her face looks “interesting”. But, unlike most ugly ramp models, she’s pretty intelligent, even more so than her retro cool cousin.

LG Chocolate

The Chocolate’s the bimbo of the bunch, sort of like the iPod in mp3player land. She’s stylish and sexy, with just the right amount of curves to make you want to hold her forever but dammit, she’s just not that smart. She sports a weak 1.3 megapixel camera, and the featureset is nothing to write home about. But she sure is hot.

Motorola MING A1200

And finally, we come to the Ming. She’s almost perfect, this one. She’s smart, hot, and she has a unique look that really sets her apart from the crowd. She’s the kind of girl that draws glances everywhere she goes, and she revels in it. Unfortunately, like some smart women, MING likes to make even the tiniest operation complicated. I don’t always want to have to take out the stylus and stroke her with it some before I can send a message, sometimes I just want to go tap tap tap Boom! Message sent.

So which phone will I end up with eventually? Only time will tell. One thing’s for sure though, like women, no phone in the world has all the features and looks you’ll ever want. There’s always a drawback, and you just gotta choose the woma…er, phone that’s right for your needs.


4 Comments to “If phones were women…”

  1. How about the Treo 680? What would your description for that be?

  2. The Treo 680 is a faded, aging beauty queen. She’s still pretty, and she tries her darndest to keep up with the younger kids (even going so far as to finally lop off that horrendous antenna), but she just got left behind by the times. If she shed some more weight maybe people would pay a bit more attention to her, though.

  3. ^lawl


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