In a world where every military action taken by a lone superpower is coming under increasing scrutiny, military researchers have searched high and low for nonlethal means of attacking their enemies. Such as gay bombs for instance. Gay bombs, you say? Whatever do they do? Well I’ll tell you dear readers, because I feel it is my duty to inform you of the most hilariously absurd things I find on the intarwebs. Gay bombs are supposed to release an aphrodisiac that turns your most hardened Taliban frontliner into an aroused homosexual just waiting to pounce on his fellow militant. You can imagine the kinds of problems this would cause for said militants, especially when they have explosives strapped around their waists.
There was also talk of bombs that would simulate the smell of flatulence, but they were passed on because “people in many areas of the world do not find faecal odour offensive, since they smell it on a regular basis”. It’s amazing how these guys manage to turn their noses up at developing countries while discussing fartbombs.