Filipinos. Why? Because Pinoys are sensitive, racist motherfuckers that’s why. They look down on people with dark skin and at the same time are overly sensitive when someone makes a bisaya joke. Then they go up in arms about how Filipino isn’t really Filipino but just a dialect of Tagalog. Granted, their arguments are probably valid, but the answer isn’t to give equal importance to other dialects and thus further erode any sense of national unity we have. As much as the Bisayas claim that Tagalogs look down on them, I’ve heard of Bisayas threatening to kill people who speak Tagalog while on their home turf. It isn’t a joke and it’s not funny and it’s this kind of clannishness that fucks up the country. If you gave equal prominence to other dialects you’d end up with certain areas becoming strongholds of a dialect, and when you go there you wouldn’t understand jack shit. That shit’s not funny, I tried it in Shanghai. Charades can only take you so far. I mean, have you ever tried charading to a taxi driver that you wanna go to the zoo? I digress.
Just have English as the national language, seriously. That way everyone’s happy, you can all go write your local broadsheets in your own dialects and make snide remarks to each other that no one will understand, and there won’t be a barrier of communication and people would stop bitching about this nonsense.