Getting Pumped Up

From Jordan Mechner’s blog:

I’ve got to learn to get more pumped up for these things. I was so blasé, I really brought the energy down in the room. I think they’d have been more excited if I hadn’t been there to demo it.

funny how reading his old journals has stuck a chord in me so many times.  This one hit pretty hard especially, because I’ve gone through most of my formative years trying to never get excited about things.  It stems from my parents’ academically strict upbringing; anything less than an “A” always felt like like a disappointment to them.  Over the years my natural instinct was to stop trying, and to convince them that I wasn’t as smart as my previous grades would lead them to believe and that they shouldn’t expect a lot out of me.  It worked.  But it ultimately backfired because now I have an almost pathological fear of building anything I do up because I’m worried I can’t live up to people’s expectations.

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